Most of my comrades left the Solidarity Convention, held this past weekend in Philadelphia, pumped about our organization and ready to hit the ground running to build it back home.

I didn’t. I left feeling deeply uncertain about what to do.

I want to write down some of my initial thoughts to clarify my thinking about where the organization is headed.

I’m writing with a great deal of love and respect for my comrades, the Solidarity leadership, and our staff. Our members are doing great work—experimenting inside the teachers unions, organizing committees in nonunion workplaces, occupying capitol buildings, fighting for the DREAM Act, and a lot more.

But as one comrade said this weekend, “honesty is respect.” I’m concerned about where Solidarity is going, and I want to be honest with my friends and comrades.

I think I'm pretty good at listening one-on-one. But I'm terrible at listening to "talks." When the speaker starts on their second point, I've usually forgotten the first point.

But in 2008, I heard a member of the New York Study Group talk about the future of socialist organization. And I've been thinking about and quoting from her talk ever since.

The New York Study Group was a large circle of grassroots organizers working primarily in communities of color studying together to explore what kind of revolutionary organization we need today. She said that they had identified five things we need socialist organization to do:

1. Develop left theory.
2. Support revolutionaries working in the social movements.
3. Train cadre.
4. Promote left unity.
5. And what was her fifth point? OK, I can’t remember.

But seriously—doesn’t it point to how big of an impression that her talk made on me four years later, that I can remember four out of five of her points, without being able to find my notes?

For me, these four points have been the starting point for a lot of my thinking on socialist organization over the last four years. Here's a little bit about what I've been thinking.

Here’s one thing that I notice happens in our group: we meet a new group of people, say from a student group or a union. They start coming to meetings, or a national conference. They’re excited.

Then one person drifts away. Maybe they had a bad experience. Or maybe they’re just really busy.

But then another person drifts away. And another. And another. At the end, we’re left with one or two people.

It’s addition by subtraction.

I’m feeling frustrated with my socialist group, and I want to write down and clarify for myself some of the reasons I’m feeling that way.

I’m not trying to bash the group. I have tons of respect and love for the people in it—especially the people who serve on leadership and staff and keep it running day to day.

But I don’t want to hide what I’m thinking either. Frankly, for the last year I think I’ve been lying to other comrades when I’ve been hiding my real thoughts from them. That isn’t useful for anyone.

I want to clarify my frustrations, find out what other people are thinking about the group, and start to brainstorm what we can do.

So, these are my frustrations with the groups, based mostly on my own experiences and impressions, and also on conversations with other friends.

This summer two of my friends and I are going to read Volume One of Capital, and listen to David Harvey's podcast of his class on the book.

I've already read Capital--twice! The first time in 9th grade and the second time in 11th grade. A long time ago.

I remember in 9th grade, picking up the book at the library on a Saturday, and thinking: "I'm never going to finish this book." But after my mom picked me up from the library, we went to pick my sister up from the roller rink, and it started to snow.

We ended up being snowed in at my house for a week, and I stayed in my room, devouring the book. It was slow at first. Then I decided to skip the footnotes, and my pace really picked up.

I still remember that jolt of understanding when Marx explained the origin of surplus value.

I wonder what I'll find this time?

FreedomRoad.org just published an excellent note to students from a veteran activist encouraging them to get a rank-and-file job.

A few things I thought while reading the article:

1) This is just a quibble: The friend who sent me the link to the article pointed out that we should drop the phrase "colonizer" from our lingo. I agree. There are better terms these days, like "inside organizer."

2) Did I miss this in the article? You need to take a friend. Two people working together can develop a division of labor in the workplace. Two people are going to bring more skills to the table. And let's face it, with two people you can minimize personality problems.

3) The article says "Eyes open mouth shut for 6 months." I think this is probably too short. I say a year, and even then, it will take you years to develop the relationships you need for your co-workers to trust you.

4) I agree with the author that the issue of "how to orient to existing union leaders ... is a tactical, not strategic, question." But I don't want to downplay the importance of the problem of bureaucracy in the union movement. In my union, the Teamsters, the national leadership of the union is one of the main roadblocks to struggle in our union. And it is hard to criticize the leadership without encouraging anti-union attitudes among some Teamsters ... but I think our caucus, which is made up of very pro-union proud Teamsters and helps people run for office, is a good model of how to be critical of the leadership while supporting leaders who are promoting struggle and promoting a general pro-union attitude.

When I joined Solidarity, I wanted to become a cadre, and devote my life to revolution. And I still do.

In this post, I want to explore what makes a good cadre, and what I think we are neglecting.

For the past year, I’ve been rethinking the political assumptions I take for granted.

I’ve been talking to other comrades. Reading new books. Putting everything on the table. And the table is a damn mess.

I decided to start a blog to clarify my thoughts and exchange ideas with friends like you.

There’s no road map to revolution and socialism in the United States, as much as I’ve wanted one for the last eleven years.

I want to explore with you guys what it really means to fight for change in the United States, and our how what we do day in and day out can help make it happen.

I'm an earnest guy. I find it hard to write about politics. I find it hard to write in general.

So be patient with me. But challenge me too. And help me figure these questions out.

Ever since 2000, when first read his pamphlet “The Rank and File Strategy: Building a Socialist Movement in the U.S.”, I’ve been quoting Kim Moody:

“While we don't claim to have the road map, we do claim to have a compass. It points to the working class and the means to expand and deepen class consciousness and organization in such a way as to make socialist ideas credible in American society.”

That year was a big one for me. I quit the Socialist Labor Party, a tiny sect I joined in high school. I helped organize a successful 11-day building occupation on my campus as part of the national student anti-sweatshop fight. And I joined Solidarity.

That year I met a lot of Solidarity activists. They reeled me in to the group because they convinced me that we needed a non-sectarian approach to building a new left in the U.S. They didn’t pretend to have all the answers. They were humble, modest, and good activists. I wanted to live like them.

I joined Solidarity as a rejection of the sectarianism I picked up in high school. So why have I been getting more and more sectarian over the last couple of years?

A review of the book by Basil Davidson

This book deserves to become a classic. It is an inspiring story of the liberation of Guinea-Bissau and Cape Verde by the African Independence Party of Guine and Cape Verde (PAIGC) and their militants, especially Amilcar Cabral.

Davidson is an excellent storyteller, combining on-the-ground anecdote, interviews with Cabral and other PAIGC militants, stories from the field, and the long history of Portuguese colonialism in Africa. (Also worth checking out is his In the Eye of the Storm, a history of the MPLA in Angola).